I’ve been planning to follow this AMINEF students exchange program since two years ago when I was still an innocent freshman who got herself overwhelmed by abundant motivation and hopes. The idea that there’s a possibility for me to taste an experience to study in the USA was really enthusiasts me. I’ve been waiting for my 5th semester to be able to apply for this student exchange program. I’ve been preparing myself in many ways including attending the AMINEF seminar that was held a year ago in my university, keeping my GPA on the right track, as well as taking a TOEFL ITP test that “thank god” has come out with a quite satisfying result, which is acceptable enough to be used for applying the scholarship.
Today I am officially entering my 5th semester. Meaning that the time I’ve been waiting for has finally here. The AMINEF deadline for sending the documents is 1 November 2013, and now it’s already October but I haven’t prepared anything! Ridiculous isn’t it.
Is it meaning that I’m already giving up the hope? Why am I being idle about something that I’ve been waiting and planning for years? There’s certainly an issue. If I’m really looking forward for this opportunity, I should’ve and WOULD HAVE been in total preparation since in the beginning of 2013, or at least 6 months before. But what happened now?
Roughly admit, my plan has been detoured since I’m entering my 5th semester. I got my new job right when I’m entering my 5th semester. I signed up for one year contract working for an institution in my town. And again, I got new news from my Dad who told me that we’ll be moving back to Jakarta next year, taking me to work with him in his company, guaranteeing me with big salary. My Dad clearly wanted me to graduate as soon as possible, and then drag me into his company in a subtle way.
Those all seem like a very promising future for me. But would that imaginary promises that’d take one more year to be actually evident, worth me to hold myself back from an opportunity that is now before my eyes? This is one sudden realization that came in my mind recently. I’ve choose to apply for AMINEF no matter what. Although I only have 2 weeks left to prepare everything together. I can’t really say that I still have that blazing spirit and motivation to study abroad in the USA just like I was in some years ago. But however this is one chance that is either flies away, or be captured.
I decided to try my best, prepare everything in a very narrow time. Starting from tomorrow, I’ll get my transcripts translated, recommendation letters in progress, as well as visiting the students exchange division in my campus for their guidance. I already have some people who are so kindly to help me with all the administration process. I really hope that everything will be running smoothly until my documents are ready to be sent and arrive at the AMINEF office before 1 November.
And also I need to finish my personal statement essays as soon as I can. This is the toughest part! I read on some blogs that the personal statements essays are the main key to get you pass the documents selection process. I don’t feel much confident about it. Honestly, I can’t come up with any impressive words for every question they asked for personal statements. I might have to fake things up in order to turns it out just finely. But seriously, that’s the least thing I want to do. I might need to cramming all night to figure out how to finish that thing.
One another thing that I’ve been considering regarding of my decision to apply for this program. That is my readiness and steadiness to accept the reality in case if I failed. There will be much money that I need to spend for this plan. If I fail from the document selection, there wouldn’t be a drastic amount of money scarification out of that. But if I managed to pass the document selection process, I need to prepare for a flight to Jakarta as well as preparation ‘tools’ as GRE and iBT books. I know that my parents would help me in the terms of budget, but I decided to use my own money that I get from work.
I know that it will be so disappointing if I can’t nail this. It will be so frustrating in fact. I’m a type of person who only knows between win or lose. If I know that I can’t win, I’d rather to not doing it at all. But there’s one lesson that I got from a friend last week. He said that “It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, because the most valuable thing that you can get out of it is the experience and lesson”. It’s actually enlighten me up. There’s no such ‘success at first attempt’. And if it does really can happen, I encourage you to not believe in that.
Mysidia IV 